Genealogy and Family: 4 Useful Tips to Solve Problems
For the month of April let’s talk about genealogy and how to fit it into your family life, how to get your kids excited about it, how to include your family in it, and how to not pull your hair out with frustration along the way. Basically I will be talking about the family pain points of genealogy. So let’s get started!
What’s the Problem with Your Genealogy and Family
What is the main problem for your family and genealogy right now. It’s not when they were little or in the future when they’re teenagers or grown kids. It’s right now! For me, I have a ten year old daughter who has a very short attention span and likes to move a lot! So sitting down with her to do indexing is probably not going to work right now! But telling her family stories while we are walking, riding bikes, swimming, eating dinner, etc. works for us right now. My brain wants to hurry things along and tell her everything about every ancestor, but that’s not working. What’s working is telling her stories about when she was a baby or a toddler. That’s genealogy in my opinion!
So find the main problem right now. I know there’s a million things we want to work on with our kids and get them to love genealogy as much as we do, but we can’t rush it or force. It’s not worth it. And one day we will have to accept that some or all of them just aren’t interested. And that’s O.K.! It really is.
Treat the problem Like a Project
The problem is not your family. You can’t just say well if they just would do this genealogy task, then they would love it and we would all be happy. Nope, not going to happen! I know…I’ve tried. Instead, just own the fact that YOU love it and you want to expose them to the things that you love and keep it there. Leave the rest up to their choices and life circumstances. In the meantime, you plan the project.
For example, if you’re main problem is finding time to do any genealogy, then mentally start there. What is the next right step in order for you to get some genealogy time? It’s not you wishing your kids would just go away or leave you in peace. It’s you figuring out HOW to make space for your genealogy, too. Your kids AND your genealogy are both important. So if you don’t want to give up either one, then figure out a way for both to have your time. Is it bringing in a babysitter, is it doing it at night when the kids are in bed, is it doing genealogy on your phone while your kids are playing at the park? When our brains think it’s a problem to be solved and not a person to be blamed, then we can find some forward movement.
Notice Small Moments in Every Day
I have found this tip to be extra helpful during summer and school holidays in my family. I can’t spend 8 hours a day on just genealogy like I want to. I’ve got to notice those small 15 minute windows that I can do some little task to keep me moving forward. Or I’ve found that if I save up those 15 minute windows for a bigger chunk later in the day or that week, then that works as well. The point is, if it’s really important to you, then you will notice those small moments where you CAN fit in some genealogy. Now it may take you all week to find one document, analyze it, and put it onto your genealogy website, such as FamilySearch.org, but that’s o.k. At least you’re still moving forward and your ancestors are still grateful you can do that much.
Change Your Mindset on What is Genealogy and Family
This was a game changer for me when I thought genealogy had to be one way and everyone had to follow it. I especially had to change some incorrect thoughts about how my family should be doing genealogy. I was living in fairy land and not seeing reality for what it is and what it could be. I had to let go a lot of my perfection tendencies and see the opportunities.
So slow your thoughts down and take a look at what you believe right now about genealogy and family. I know it’s uncomfortable to face some not very kind thoughts about what your family and genealogy should look like. But I promise it helps you let them go when you can actually see them instead of stuffing them back into your brain. If you want different results with your family and genealogy, then you’ve got to have different thoughts. So my challenge for both you and me is to pick one believable thought that will help us love our family and love our genealogy for this month.
Conclusion
Genealogy and families can be a volatile mix, but it’s not the end. You CAN still do genealogy and still be there for your family if it’s important enough for you. I have learned this for myself over the past two years. It’s going to be messy, but it’s NOT going to be impossible.
In the meantime…good luck and happy hunting!
Tiffany
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